gems from my 13 year-old me

So the way I woke up this morning was by literally violently falling off of my bed onto the floor next to it. I recall having some sort of nightmare about multicolored cats before I woke up and there must have been some sort of struggle because all of the sudden I was flat on my back laying next to the piles of laundry I've been using as my clothes supply because I'm too lazy to do laundry. I was a little stricken, to say the least, (and wish I could remember what those multicolored cats were all about) but as I turned my head to the left and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes I spotted a hidden gem. Underneath my bed I spotted my dusty, old diary that I used to write in all the time when I was between the ages of 13 and 15. Reading this thing may I just say, I was a hilarious little psycho. Why I thought the things I wrote about were important for posterity to remember is simply perplexing. Needless to say, I spent the next hour or so still laying on the ground in the position I fell off in skimming the pages and laughing/feeling embarrassed for 13 year old me, and here I have compiled the headlines of the weird things that went through my adolescent brain. Judge me as you must, because heaven knows I sure did.

2008 started out with a lot of "I went to the mall today but it was closed and my sister is being annoying" and I apologized a lot for some reason....

January 23, 2008
"And I guess that's really selfish, but I really want to make a difference in someone's life."

March 22, 2008
"I saw lots of tattooed vegans today."

April 6, 2008
"My hair smells weird."

May 6, 2008
"Stupid Miley Cyrus and her stupid vanity fair pictures. She's growing up too fast..."

September 3, 2008
I professed my love for my middle school crush for exactly 3 PAGES by saying things like "I love how he used to cry on the playground in elementary school" and "I love his gross, old sneakers" and "I love love love the way he sucks up to teachers"and "I love his cheeto fingers." There was obviously something wrong with me.

November 27, 2008
It was Thanksgiving and I wrote that I was grateful for Edward Cullen and said "I'm seeing Twilight tomorrow with the girls." (and if you know me at all now, you know I would never say the phrase "the girls" voluntarily). I also wrote that my mood was "calm, broken, and purple."

May 11, 2009:
"How is Indiana Jones a brave hero when he brutally murdered all of those people? I bet they have loving friends and family at home praying for them. They were once little boys, too. With loving mothers and dreams of becoming an astronaut or whatever. Think about Indy from their point of view. They're scared. He's a thief and a terrorist, creatively murdering their friends and colleagues! How did he learn all these tricks anyways? How did he decide this is the career path he wanted to take? Why is he afraid of snakes? This is propaganda."

July 1, 2009:
"It's funny how often I don't want to write in this journal."

October 11, 2009:
"Umm, hey. Welcome back to my journal. I want to write about friendship."

December 13, 2009:
"I cannot believe my parents are not giving me consequences for how big of a brat I'm being."

Then from 2009-2011 was like Picasso's blue period where I wrote a lot of embarrassing poetry that still makes me cringe and might be promptly burned so it doesn't get into the wrong, blackmailing hands. Needless to say, those entries I do not consider shareable.

Also, YES these were all direct quotes with no editing. Happy Friday!


xx, hajo